


I Feel You

by UnicornBliss



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Disability, Drabble ??, Hopeful Ending, M/M, i always end up emphasizing Taeil's beauty in fics I'm, johnil, johnny centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 05:47:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7878835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornBliss/pseuds/UnicornBliss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngho's eyes can never see it, but he feels it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Feel You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [johnils (eggtarts)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eggtarts/gifts).



My fingers feel softness and it's the familiar type that I am accustomed to whenever I'm in the garden.

My nose picks up the smell of fresh plants and soil from underneath me, a rather strong reminder that spring has come and the sun was up in the sky.

My skin tingles under the warmth spreading through every limb and edge in my body and supplying it with new found energy to accomplish tasks that have been too hard on me, hindering my way to happiness.

  
My feet twist on the ground, basking in the way they were buried among the damp grounds, aftermath of heavy rain and sky’s blessings.

  
My ears are aware of the chirping birds and dancing trees surrounding me, caging my existence as if celebrating the season with my presence.

My lips part momentarily to draw in the brisk morning air, invading my lungs. I feel alive.

  
My eyes.   
My eyes are wide open but they barely see a thing. Images of green and blue replaced by pitch black and the void I've been familiar with ever since I’ve known myself. I blink, wondering if I would ever have an idea of what spring looks like. It doesn't work, it never did.

  
A sigh escapes my lips as I maneuver my way through the overgrown plants, my fingers tracing some as I walk in between them. There's a void in my chest insisting to be granted a piece of my mind and I struggle, clenching my jaw as I strained a smile. The sun was high up above me, the colorful flowers by my side,the rich land underneath me and I refuse to give in. The trivial nagging negativities that haunted the dark corner in my mind, pestered me about every tiny hardship and expanding it so it grew large, dominating my emotions and thoughts. It was a constant battle of good and bad, happy and sad, hopeful and hopeless- I was stuck in between.

That is, until the touch of tender skin came in contact with mine, reviving it in some sense, and the velvety tone of “I'm here” resounded amidst my mental ruckus, silencing every single thought and replacing it by the latter’s voice, presence, everything.

  
A smile finds its way on my face automatically, as if by instinct , and I turn my face around as if studying his features that I was sure more than anything rivaled the beauty of seasons that I could only observe in my own lacking manner. He smiles too, I know because a soft almost inaudible chuckle escapes his plush lips and reach my eager ears that almost twitched in response.

  
It's he who existed within my heart, the breath of fresh air that compared to that of a spring’s breeze after scalding wintery nights. The voice of hope that urged me to go on, live despite the mishaps and afflictions drowning me within, whispering into my ears that I must ‘give up’ and ‘let go’.

He who always appeared like a hero and held my hand, guiding me through the good and bad in me, accepting me the way I am, the way I hated to be. I despised myself, for several reasons one of them my disability. I've originally opted to admire him with my own eyes, dedicate my life to watching over him, protecting him from the harm that only existed in my head. If I could etch his features clearly in my head, live my life cherishing the beauty God had generously granted him, I would have.

“Youngho.” He whispers quietly into my palm and I shiver the slightest bit, a breeze washing over my body and senses reminding me of his serene yet blissful presence. The scent of vanilla and roses wafted from him and I step closer, breathing him in.

“Yes”

“I love you.”

I tighten my grip on his hand to tug him closer, using my other to map out his complexion, stroking button nose and plump lips parting just for me to take advantage of, in which I did eventually . I lean down to press our lips to each other’s , tasting him and basking in the way he surrendered under my touch. Like molten snow during early spring and late winter, he lied limp in my arms as he sighed softly.

  
I couldn't see the blooming crimson on the apples of his cheeks yet my fingers traced the warmth radiating from them, drawing a satisfied chuckle from my mouth and into his own.

The emotions pouring out of his eyes were unseen but felt, his eerie silence telling me it was one of those moments where he took his time in staring, losing himself in the visual of me, the image that I've yet to discover. Taeil would mumble ‘beautiful’ and I'd respond with a scoff , insisting he's the definition of beauty.

This time he opens his mouth in a few moments and I dip down for a kiss, leaning back only to breathe into his quivering lips the words that were hanging at the tip of his tongue.

“Beautiful.”

  
Because even if I couldn't witness it with my own eyes , I could feel it, through every gesture and puff of air that left his entire being and landed on mine subtly, a promise that kept me alive for he would always be there to lead me on, physically and emotionally. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally angst but my johnil heart could not take it. Also, very short and kind of pointless but hey, we need to fill the johnil tag so ❤️   
> /runs back to my pile of drafted fics


End file.
